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Commentary:
"Looks like your bladder is the ultimate party pooper! 🎉💤 Just when you thought you'd have a lazy morning, it decides to shake things up! 😆 Who needs alarm clocks when you have a bladder on a mission? 🚽💥"

big, bladder, cancel, humor, i, morning, plans, sleep, today, wake, wake up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

0

2 months ago

age, humor, life, old, perspective, self-deprecation, vintage, wisdom
Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

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6 months ago

6, airport, am, beer, drinking, early, early morning, free, humor, judgment, lawless, lawless place, morning, no judgment, place, problem, travel
Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

0

2 months ago

boss, communication, distraction, humor, knows, office, saying, strategy, stuff, thinking, walks, work
You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

0

2 months ago

bed, cold, DM, humor, relationship, too, whining
Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

0

3 months ago

48, boredom, depressing, depression, evening, ever, feeling, mood, most, Sunday, time, weekend, why
Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

0

2 months ago

activity, bikini, DM, DMs, flirt, fun, fun activity, humor, media, put, run, social, social media, through

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

71 shares on Discord this month:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

35 shares on WeChat this month:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

60 shares on Discord this month:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Making waves on YouTube:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Shared recently on Instagram:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Just landed via X:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Breaking via WeChat:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Making waves on Threads:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨