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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Making waves on WeChat:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Just landed via X:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Trending via Twitch:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Shared recently on Threads:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When my phone rings, I panic like it's a fire drill… aren't phones just for memes? 📞➡️🙅‍♂️😂"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

51 shares on Discord this month:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

66 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

14 shares on Slack this month:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,607

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Spotted on Threads:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Just shared via Slack:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Shared recently on Discord:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Seen just now on X:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Just shared via Discord:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Just landed via Discord:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Shared recently on Slack:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

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