Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,761

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Just shared via WeChat:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Breaking via Twitch:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Spotted on YouTube:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Trending via Reddit:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Just landed via Reddit:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Trending via Twitch:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Detecting evil one profile pic at a time—call me Instagran! 😈📸🔍

ability, evil, humor, i, judgment, media, perception, picture, profile, profile picture, social, social media, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

0

4 days ago

believe, brand, business, company, company name, GoDaddy, humor, i, name, still, surprise
People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

0

2 months ago

back, bed, dream, dreams, follow, humor, i, motivation, people, procrastination, sleep
9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

0

1 month ago

afternoon, anything, humor, maybe, morning, motivation, optimism, possibility, procrastination, reality, time, tomorrow
They should invent a rest for the wicked.

0

2 months ago

humor, invention, irony, relaxation, rest, should, wicked
I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

0

2 months ago

coffee, drinking, humor, i, mean, mean things, sarcasm, say, self-control, things, welcome
The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

0

2 months ago

collective, collective noun, egosystem, group, humor, joke, narcissist, noun, personality, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on TikTok this month:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

94 shares on Slack this month:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

34 shares on Slack this month:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Just landed via Telegram:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Going viral on Slack:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Freshly posted on Threads:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Shared recently on Discord:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Going viral on Facebook:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Trending via Telegram:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Making waves on Telegram:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Going viral on Discord:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨