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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Making waves on YouTube:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Freshly posted on X:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Seen just now on X:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

1 day ago

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Commentary:
Detecting evil one profile pic at a time—call me Instagran! 😈📸🔍

ability, evil, humor, i, judgment, media, perception, picture, profile, profile picture, social, social media, where

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36 shares on WeChat this month:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

55 shares on WeChat this month:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Spotted on Pinterest:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Just landed via Messenger:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Trending via Telegram:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Making waves on Telegram:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

So my wife goes, “It’s not you — it’s me.” Obviously written by ChatGPT.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

So my wife goes, “It’s not you — it’s me.” Obviously written by ChatGPT.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨