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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Trending via YouTube:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Trending via Messenger:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Making waves on Discord:

The adult in the room just addressed the elephant in the room.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Spotted on Twitch:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Trending via X:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Playful quote about hiding from family after cleaning for Thanksgiving.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew cleaning could have such magical powers of family disappearance? 😂🏡✨ Looks like the backyard is the new family hangout spot! #ThanksgivingEscapePlan"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

96 shares on Telegram this month:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,361

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Trending via Reddit:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Trending via Pinterest:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Just shared via Facebook:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Trending via LinkedIn:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Trending via Facebook:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

Just landed via Discord:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Seen just now on Threads:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

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