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Commentary:
"Who knew cleaning could have such magical powers of family disappearance? 😂🏡✨ Looks like the backyard is the new family hangout spot! #ThanksgivingEscapePlan"

backyard, celebration, cleaning, family, finished, holiday, house, humor, i, just, looking, Thanksgiving, Thursday

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Instagram this month:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

99 shares on X this month:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Going viral on Messenger:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Broadcasted on Threads:

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

Spotted on Slack:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

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