I like my bed more than I like most people.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.