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Commentary:
🤣 "Why rush through the day when you can already be mentally at the finish line, right? Starting the day with the end in mind is like skipping to the last page of a book – efficient and slightly rebellious. Here's to embracing the anticipation of bedtime before breakfast!" 😆🌙

begin, day, end, every, forward, humor, i, look forward, looking, motivation, perspective, routine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

2 weeks ago
being, day, humor, Monday, record, week, worst, worst day
Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

1 month ago
away, before, break, breaking, cook, cooking, food, half, humor, i, italian, joke, kitchen, pasta, spaghetti, tradition
Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

1 month ago
animals, bird, birds, celebrity, humor, recognition, singing, well
I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

1 month ago
age, check, confusion, daily, daily life, forgetfulness, glasses, humor, i, life, memory, pills, put, remember, where
I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

1 month ago
bad, being, coping, coping mechanism, emotion, health, humor, joke, jokes, later, making, mechanism, mental, mental health, mood, sad, sadness, self-awareness, situation, three
The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

1 month ago
bullshit, grass, greener, humor, life, only, perspective, reality, side

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

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Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

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Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

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Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

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Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

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Just landed via Pinterest:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Shared recently on X:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

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I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

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I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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