Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,379

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Making waves on Twitch:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Trending via Facebook:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

Making waves on Threads:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Spotted on Instagram:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Breaking via Instagram:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Going viral on Slack:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

I run a parody bank account.

Witty text about a parody bank account, humorous and playful in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate flex: running a parody bank account where the only currency is humor and overdraft fees are paid in dad jokes! 💸💰😂 Keep those laugh deposits coming! #BankingOnLaughs"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Websites need to realize that no one ever, ever wants the site to be able to send them notifications.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Asking the cashier how I’m doing today.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

76 shares on X this month:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

That fight could’ve been an email.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Making waves on X:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Spotted on Slack:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Live now on TikTok:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Going bananas on TikTok:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Just shared via Telegram:

Y’all pronounce it data or data?

Making waves on X:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

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