I run a parody bank account.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.