Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the blissful slumber of a burdened soul! 😴💤 Who needs sweet dreams when you can have a guilt-induced nap instead? 😅👶 #Sleeplikeababy"

anxiety, around, baby, burden, everyone, humor, i, irony, knowing, me, reassurance, self-deprecation, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

2 months ago

activity, Adderall, beach, before, focus, fun, fun activity, going, good, good time, having, humor, i, lay, party, productivity, relaxation, taking, time
Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

2 months ago

cooking, cry, dinner, food, hack, humor, just, life, life hack, need, salt, tears
I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

5 months ago

coffee, escape, exhaustion, forever, hug, humor, i, just, live, need, self-care, solitude, stress, tell, woods
I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

2 months ago

activity, Facebook, free, free time, humor, imagine, lie, naked, people, relationship, time, top
Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

3 months ago

days, dead, disappear, humor, i, Jesus, pretend, resurrection, sarcasm, think, trouble, whenever, wit
My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

6 months ago

Bluetooth, daughter, disappeared, family, item, just, karaoke, karaoke mic, lost, lost item, mic, mystery, new, sad, sadness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Twitch this month:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

45 shares on Threads this month:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Making waves on Twitch:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Spotted on Instagram:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Breaking via Slack:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Spotted on X:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨