Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Making waves on Telegram:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Spotted on Discord:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Just shared via Threads:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Just landed via Twitch:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Going viral on Reddit:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Seen just now on Slack:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Just landed via Reddit:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I must have missed the memo—when did "National Lost Track of Time Day" become a thing? 🎉📅🤔

different, distraction, every, holiday, humor, i, observation, phone, swear, technology, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

2 months ago

compass, confusion, direction, humor, i, irony, lost, still
If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

2 months ago

ask, astrology, dating, getting, humor, i, interaction, nerf, sign, social, social interaction, vibe, zodiac, zodiac sign
Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

5 days ago

activity, blunt, music, relaxation, self-care, smoking, solo, solo activity
Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

2 months ago

best, best friend, cheese, comparison, diamonds, food, friend, friendship, girl, girls, humor, love, never, shredded, shredded cheese, snack
If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

2 months ago

comment, communication, fact, humor, irony, paradox, say
I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

3 months ago

being, frustration, money, multimillionaire, tired, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

The peace of not knowing.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Live now on Snapchat:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Going bananas on Slack:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Live now on WeChat:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Trending via Messenger:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Just landed via Facebook:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Trending via Instagram:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Spotted on Facebook:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨