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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Trending via Messenger:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Making waves on YouTube:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Making waves on Reddit:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Going viral on Twitch:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Just landed via Telegram:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Making waves on Facebook:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Playful quote about constantly losing track of holidays while glued to the phone.
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Commentary:
I must have missed the memo—when did "National Lost Track of Time Day" become a thing? 🎉📅🤔

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Instagram this month:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

28 shares on X this month:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

24 shares on Slack this month:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

86 shares on X this month:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I had a friend like me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I let my girl wear whatever because you’re staring, and I’m hittin’ that.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Spotted on X:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Going viral on WeChat:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Trending via WeChat:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Going viral on Telegram:

My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.

Breaking via Instagram:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Just landed via Twitch:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

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