Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?
  • Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.
  • White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.
  • There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.
  • My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.
  • Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.