Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Well, looks like someone hit the rewind button on the week! 🔄 It's like a plot twist you never saw coming! 😅 Hang in there, the weekend is just around the corner! 🎉"

confusion, expectations, found, Friday, great, having, humor, i, irony, Thursday, time, week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

0

2 months ago

anything, attitude, cheer, cheering, confidence, humor, insult, me, mean, mockery, people, rivalry, sarcasm, seen, sports
If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

0

2 months ago

ever, friends, humor, i, me, milk, missing, picture, print, wine
Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

0

6 months ago

50s, coffee, hangover, happy, happy hour, hour, morning, mornings, new, welcome, where
If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

0

2 months ago

candy, checkout, free, grocery, humor, line, longer, minutes, patience, shopping, should, store, treat
True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

0

2 months ago

bonding, friend, friendship, fun, humor, judge, people, together, true, true friend
Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

0

2 months ago

back, bed, day, day start, hours, humor, i, just, morning, morning routine, motivation, positive, positive thought, procrastination, routine, short, sleep, start, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Slack this month:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Just shared via Twitch:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Spotted on YouTube:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Just shared via Telegram:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Live now on YouTube:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Just landed via Messenger:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Shared recently on Discord:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨