Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

27 minutes ago

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Trending via Threads:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Live now on Snapchat:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Spotted on Slack:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Going viral on Facebook:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Making waves on Telegram:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Just landed via Reddit:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Just landed via Telegram:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

6 months ago

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, that would definitely make customer service a lot more interesting! 😂 Imagine walking into a store not knowing if today is the day you'll get bopped on the head for being a difficult shopper. 🛒💢 Just another reason to be extra nice to retail staff! 🤣 #CustomerServiceGoals"

customer, customers, employee, every, hit, humor, retail, satisfaction, should, stress, tell, used, workplace, year, yearly

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share → : Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.
1 week ago
Share → : My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.
6 months ago
Share → : People who scream sneeze need their own island.
1 week ago
Share → : Eat like your treadmill is watching.
3 months ago
Share → : My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.
4 months ago
Share → : When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.
4 months ago
Share → : Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.
4 months ago
Share → : Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

27 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Making waves on Discord:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Shared recently on YouTube:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Just shared via Pinterest:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I need a break from me.

Reported on Twitch:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Just landed via Threads:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Live now on Facebook:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴