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Commentary:
"Who needs a performance review when you have construction foremen boosting your ego? 🚧🔨 Definitely a confidence builder! 😉 #ConstructionSiteConfidence"

construction, doing, good, i, job, know, me, meant, today, walking, yell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

0

2 months ago

computer, duct, duct tape, humor, life, problems, reboot, rest, solution, tape
Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

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2 months ago

cheating, humor, me, neat, nobody, pretty, relationship, single, status
Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

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2 months ago

annoyance, around, conversation, etiquette, everyone, hate, noise, people, public, speakerphone, talk
Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, cat, cats, funny observation, harvesting, humor, observation, pets, poop, think, weird
Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

0

2 months ago

add, after, boost, chores, cross, dopamine, free, humor, list, motivation, procrastination, productivity, self-care, sometimes, task
I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

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2 months ago

abduction, alien, aliens, chores, clean, cleaning, eat, hands, humor, hygiene, i, me, mothership, parenting, room, vegetables, wash

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on X this month:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

82 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

42 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Going viral on Twitch:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Seen just now on Instagram:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Going viral on YouTube:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Trending via WhatsApp:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨