Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Making waves on Reddit:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Making waves on Twitch:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a retard.

Making waves on Messenger:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about forgetfulness and the brain's changing priorities, humorously highlighting memory loss.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Maybe it's switched to storing random song lyrics or food delivery menus instead! 🧠📱🎶🍔 #EvolutionOfTheBrain

brain, distraction, doing, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, number, numbers, phone, phone number, store, technology, used, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Messenger this month:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

88 shares on Slack this month:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

57 shares on Slack this month:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Yesterday, my boss asked me what I did for a living.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Just landed via X:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨