Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,639

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Just shared via X:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Live now on YouTube:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Just shared via WeChat:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Live now on TikTok:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

Just shared via Reddit:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Trending via TikTok:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

1 month ago

Funny quote about dogs; a playful reminder that mine is a big fat liar.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"If dogs could talk, it would be a whole new level of drama at the dog park! 🐶🗣️🤥 Just imagine the tall tales your furry friend might come up with! Better hide those socks before they spill the beans about who the real sock thief is 😉🧦"

big, dog, dogs, ever, everyone, fat, humor, i, keep, learn, liar, mind, pet, talk, trust, truth, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

71 shares on X this month:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

37 shares on Threads this month:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Trending via Slack:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Spotted on YouTube:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Going viral on TikTok:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Going viral on YouTube:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Trending via Messenger:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴