28 funny apps quotes - Wordgag

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

May 21, 2026

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

May 21, 2026

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

May 21, 2026

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

May 20, 2026

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

May 20, 2026

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

May 20, 2026

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

May 19, 2026

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

May 19, 2026

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

May 19, 2026

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

May 18, 2026

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

May 18, 2026

Hobbies include opening and closing apps.

May 18, 2026

Deleted all my dating apps. I’m ready to find the love of my life in World of Warcraft.

May 18, 2026

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Apr 1, 2026

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Mar 31, 2026

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Mar 30, 2026

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Mar 29, 2026

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Mar 29, 2026

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Mar 29, 2026

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Mar 27, 2026

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Mar 27, 2026

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Mar 26, 2026

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Mar 26, 2026

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Mar 26, 2026

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Mar 26, 2026

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Mar 25, 2026

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Mar 25, 2026

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Mar 25, 2026