If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Commentary:
“If life gives you lemons, ask for chocolate! 🍫🔪 The ultimate sweet escape from the bitter end! 😄 #DeathByChocolateGoals”

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

    Commentary:
    “Maybe it all started with that cute, cozy sock keeping their feet warm and now they just can’t resist a good pair of toes 🧦👣 Who knew socks had such power over our dating preferences!”

  • If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

    Commentary:
    Oh, that’s just me expressing my deep appreciation for fine dining in a unique way! 🍽️👅 Who needs shame when you have delicious charcuterie? 😁 #PlateLickerExtraordinaire

  • Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

    Commentary:
    🦁🎬 “If the MGM lion’s roar is meant to reveal the story’s climax, it seems we’ve been looking in the wrong direction. Maybe it’s time for a new kind of ‘roaring’ success in Hollywood, one that doesn’t send viewers leaping out of their seats before the drama even begins! 🤣”

  • If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the bold confidence in the face of rejection! 💁‍♂️ Who needs love when you have an unwavering belief in your own awesomeness? 🤣 Clearly, some hearts just can’t handle all this fabulousness! 💔 #ConfidenceGoals”

  • A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

    Commentary:
    So true! 📺 It’s like we were all stuck in a love-hate relationship with those childhood characters because, let’s face it, the TV just didn’t give us many options back then! 😄 It’s a wonder we turned out as well as we did! #ChildhoodTVStruggles

  • I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the age-old dilemma of balancing your own sleep with the well-being of your leftovers. It’s like a moral dilemma straight out of a Shakespearean tragedy. To eat, or not to eat… that is the question! Whether ’tis nobler to grant yourself sweet dreams, or to suffer the pangs of a rumbling stomach past midnight. Alas, poor pizza slice, I knew him well!”