Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🏠💍 "Who needs a spouse when you can just gift a house? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe this is the ultimate 'no strings attached' relationship strategy! 😆 Just make sure she doesn't cozy up to the house more than to you! 🤣"

again, dislike, divorce, getting, give, going, house, humor, i, love, marriage, married, relationship, sarcasm, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

4 weeks ago

ambition, bare, bare minimum, desire, even, exaggeration, humor, i, maybe, minimum, moon, planet, point, star, stars, want
Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

2 weeks ago

cake, dessert, eat, enjoyment, food, fork, harder, humor, much, plastic, plastic fork
Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

2 weeks ago

avoid, avoid idiot, book, books, coffee, daily, daily routine, drink, humor, idiot, idiots, lifestyle, productivity, read, read book, repeat, routine, self-care
Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

2 weeks ago

airport, boarding, boarding gate, favorite, fitness, fitness joke, gate, humor, joke, running, travel, travel humor, workout
The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

2 weeks ago

activity, drink, leisure, Midwest, nice, nice weather, outdoor, patio, relaxation, social, social activity, soon, urge, weather
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

2 weeks ago

awkward, childhood, confidence, ever, freak, girl, grow, humor, i, ID, little, quirky, self-identity, weird

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

72 shares on Slack this month:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

88 shares on Discord this month:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

97 shares on Discord this month:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Trending via Reddit:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Live now on Discord:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Trending via TikTok:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Spotted on Pinterest:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Trending via Discord:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Breaking via X:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Keep the laugh going 😂

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨