Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,317

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Spotted on YouTube:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Broadcasted on Slack:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Shared recently on Threads:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Just landed via Facebook:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Spotted on Discord:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Just shared via Telegram:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess it's God's way of saying, 'Have fun while you're at it!' 😂🌟🍑"

activity, divine, feel, fun, fun activity, God, good, humor, irony, meant, pleasure, procreation, religion, sex, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

0

2 months ago

animal, fast, horse, humor, run, speed, sport, still, suck, weird
According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

0

2 months ago

appetite, bacon, breakfast, cooking, exaggeration, family, food, humor, i, just, meal
Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

0

2 months ago

being, bills, carefree, dinosaur, drama, extinct, humor, imagine, just, simplicity, work
Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

0

2 months ago

audiobook, awareness, communication, even, humor, listening, reading, room
There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

0

2 months ago

bots, here, humor, internet, joke, online, sci-fi, star, Star Wars, technology, wars
I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

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2 months ago

away, food, humor, i, joke, leftover, old, think, throw, waste

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

48 shares on YouTube this month:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

55 shares on WeChat this month:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Just landed via Telegram:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Breaking via Pinterest:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Just shared via Twitch:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Making waves on WeChat:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Going viral on WeChat:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Live now on Discord:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨