Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Let me reiterate: If you start a sentence with 'Let me reiterate…', we're already in a cycle of repetition as endless as a broken record 🔄🙉 #IgnoredAgain"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

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2 months ago

alcohol, doing, dry, Dry January, humor, January, joke, mean, sense, sense of humor
Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

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2 months ago

aging, doing, doing nothing, enjoyment, getting, great, humor, lessons, life, life lessons, nothing, older, relaxation, simplicity
According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

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2 months ago

Christmas, expectations, family, gifts, humor, kids, lists, money, parenting, pretty, think, well
Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

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3 months ago

50s, age, aging, ailment, condition, health, humor, medical, medical condition, middle, middle age, mysterious, mysterious ailment, welcome
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

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4 days ago

animal, animal emotion, butterfly, emotion, fall, feel, feeling, human, humans, humor, love, stomach
Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

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2 months ago

activity, beautiful, dating, drinks, Friday, fun, fun activity, humor, i, invitation, invite, me, relaxation, weekend, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Facebook this month:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

73 shares on Discord this month:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Half princess, half menace.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Spotted on X:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Spotted on TikTok:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Making waves on Facebook:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Just landed via Slack:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Live now on YouTube:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Spotted on Discord:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨