Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,003

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Shared recently on Slack:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Just landed via WeChat:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Seen just now on Threads:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Trending via WeChat:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Trending via Facebook:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Seen just now on Discord:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When Mercury's in retrograde, my charm must be in overdrive! ✨🔮😉

appearance, astrology, beauty, compliment, humor, interaction, means, pretty, social, social interaction, talk, talking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

0

2 months ago

dream, humor, i, imagination, imagine, lottery, ready, reality, thrill, wake, wake up, work
Talents: eating!

0

2 months ago

eating, food, humor, lighthearted, skill, talent
My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

0

1 month ago

confusion, filled, Googling, history, humor, just, language, me, regular, regular word, right, search, search history, sure, using, using right, word, words
The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

0

2 months ago

attendance, before, book, Easter, guests, half, holiday, humor, Jesus, miracle, night, people, real, reservation, table
Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

0

1 month ago

else, entertainment, here, humor, Kardashian, never, reality, reality TV, say, show, shows, statement, TV, watch
Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

0

2 months ago

around, aroused, autocorrect, buddy, fail, friendship, funny situation, hang, hang out, miscommunication, situation, text, text fail, today, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

83 shares on X this month:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

49 shares on Discord this month:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Seen just now on X:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Just shared via YouTube:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Trending via Reddit:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Going bananas on WeChat:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Trending via Pinterest:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Trending via YouTube:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Just landed via YouTube:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Talents: eating!

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨