I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

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Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

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Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.