Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,372

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Just shared via Reddit:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Making waves on YouTube:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

3 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

…

Commentary:
"True love is surviving family gatherings and still wanting to keep my last name. 😂💍🎉 #BraveHeart"

challenge, compatibility, dating, event, family, family event, humor, marriage, marry, me, partner, person, relationship, social, social challenge, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on YouTube this month:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Going viral on TikTok:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Broadcasted on Slack:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Just shared via Instagram:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Going viral on WeChat:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Trending via YouTube:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Just landed via X:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Making waves on Discord:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨