Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Seen just now on Twitch:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

Just landed via YouTube:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Spotted on Facebook:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Live now on Threads:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wish I could sleep like a king, but my partner insists on queenly proximity! 😂👑🛌

bed, bed size, beds, couple, couples, divorce, divorce rate, interested, king, king bed, marriage, queen, queen bed, rate, relationship, size, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

2 months ago

honesty, humor, i, irony, lie, love, lying, saying, why
I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

5 months ago

attitude, defiance, humor, i, illusion, pieces, shattering, smash, smashing, want
I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

2 months ago

code, communication, frustration, humor, i, insomnia, learned, me, morse, Morse code, myself, rain, sleep, swear, swear word, telling, word
I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

2 months ago

authenticity, cashier, cashiers, check, counterfeit, counterfeit money, dollar, Dollar Tree, feel, frustration, handling, hate, humor, i, Karen, money, money handling, need, real, shopping, tree
I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

3 months ago

call, dad, data, forget, funny memory, guy, i, me, memory, middle, middle school, need, never, Obama, phone, school, stop, tell, using, Verizon
I have the sex drive of a potato.

2 months ago

comparison, drive, humor, i, potato, relationship, self-deprecation, sex, sex drive, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

84 shares on X this month:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Just landed via Reddit:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Going viral on Reddit:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Live now on Telegram:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Spotted on Twitch:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Live now on Instagram:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Seen just now on Discord:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨