Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I need a day off from myself.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Spotted on Telegram:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Going viral on TikTok:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Live now on Pinterest:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Breaking via YouTube:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Just landed via YouTube:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Just landed via Reddit:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Making waves on X:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"At my age, the only unnecessary noise I tolerate is my own snoring! 😴🔊 #TooManyDecibels #ExtraFriendsNotIncluded"

age, annoyance, friend, friends, hate, humor, humor quote, i, noise, noises, sarcasm, social, unnecessary, useless, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

0

2 months ago

English, ever, humor, irony, just, language, lead, read, remember, rhyme, think, weird, wordplay
You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

0

2 months ago

confidence, grammar, humor, language, punctuation, semicolons, writing
Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

0

5 months ago

away, girls, i, me, need, period, stay
Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulting, ask, babysitter, being, home, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, responsibility, should
My back and I are definitely not the same age.

0

2 months ago

age, back, body, getting, getting older, humor, i, older, perspective, same, self-deprecation
I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

0

2 months ago

activity, date, date idea, drink, funny moment, glass, going, gravy, humor, i, idea, moment, quirky, quirky activity, shared, shared drink, straws, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

83 shares on X this month:

Math is like Chinese to me.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

57 shares on X this month:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

73 shares on Discord this month:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Making waves on Reddit:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Trending via TikTok:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Going bananas on Discord:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Spotted on Threads:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Making waves on Reddit:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Trending via Messenger:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨