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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Spotted on Threads:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Trending via Slack:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Just landed via Threads:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

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Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.
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Commentary:
"Well, that's one way to secure the bag, just make sure you don't get too wrinkled waiting for your inheritance!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

57 shares on Discord this month:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

56 shares on Instagram this month:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

79 shares on Slack this month:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Freshly posted on X:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Shared recently on Threads:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

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