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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

342 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,935

Funny Quotes Topics

17,106

Funny Quotes Images

14,935

Updated

Dec 14, 2025

Users Online

3,934

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Broadcasted on X:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Just landed via TikTok:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Live now on YouTube:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Live now on Reddit:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Everything's a joke, especially on Mondays 😅🤪 #LifeIsComedy

attitude, bit, everything, humor, joke, little, me, sarcasm, unfortunately, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

1 month ago

alone, customer, customer service, employee, help, humor, interaction, joke, leave, living, prank, reason, respond, response, service, shopping, social, social interaction, something, store, store employee
Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

1 month ago

application, experience, gain, got, humor, i, internship, irony, job, job application, paradox, rejection
My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

1 month ago

air, alcohol, drink, flask, humor, optimism, positivity, thin
To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

1 month ago

dance, food, fun, Himalayan, humor, parody, salt, sea, sea salt, song, tune
Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

1 month ago

alone, alone time, humor, never, opinion, opinions, peace, quiet, solitude, time, unsolicited
Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

1 month ago

children, cold, example, giving, humor, kids, me, parenting

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Live now on Discord:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Going viral on Reddit:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Spotted on Reddit:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Making waves on Instagram:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Just shared via Threads:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

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“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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