Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

292 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,561

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,561

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,626

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Spotted on WeChat:

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I would prefer not to.

Breaking via Slack:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Spotted on Slack:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Trending via Telegram:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Going viral on Messenger:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Isn't it magical how buying a replacement turns your house into a hide-and-seek champion's paradise? 🕵️‍♂️🎩✨

appear, best, buy, finding, humor, irony, item, learned, lesson, life, life lesson, lost, lost item, problem, problem-solving, replacement, solving, something, spontaneous

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

2 months ago

confidence, grammar, humor, language, never, punctuation, semicolon, used, writing
My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

2 months ago

advice, apocalypse, canned, canned goods, dead, eat, expired, expired food, food, funny advice, goods, humor, pantry, still, survival, takeaway, walking, Walking Dead, zombie, zombie apocalypse
Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

2 months ago

exhaustion, forward, hours, humor, irony, looking, looking forward, night, sleep, tonight, trying
If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

2 months ago

chewing, divorce, hear, humor, i, marriage, moved, sound, states, still, wife
A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

2 months ago

A.I., AI, art, before, creativity, forced, humor, job, service, should, tables, wait
That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

2 months ago

awkwardness, birthday, drop, drop off, inside, invite, moment, panic, party, situation, social, social situation, start, surprise, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

15 shares on Messenger this month:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

57 shares on Slack this month:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

89 shares on X this month:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

72 shares on Twitch this month:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

18 shares on X this month:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Going viral on Threads:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Making waves on Discord:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Making waves on Reddit:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Just landed via Reddit:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Going viral on Slack:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Trending via Reddit:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨