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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,801

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Spotted on X:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Going viral on Discord:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Just landed via WeChat:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

4 days ago

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Commentary:
Isn't it magical how buying a replacement turns your house into a hide-and-seek champion's paradise? 🕵️‍♂️🎩✨

appear, best, buy, finding, humor, irony, item, learned, lesson, life, life lesson, lost, lost item, problem, problem-solving, replacement, solving, something, spontaneous

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

1 month ago

12, age, drink, furious, humor, i, joke, old, parents, whiskey, year
The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

1 month ago

battery, cell, cell phone, humor, life, low, low battery, modern, modern life, phone, serious, technology, warning
When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

1 month ago

adult, adulthood, cat, child, desire, expectations, humor, irony, life, life stages, stages, teenager, want
Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

1 month ago

animals, humor, music, ocean, sing, someone, told, whale
Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

1 month ago

button, convenience, humans, humor, intro, inventor, skip, skip intro, technology, understanding
Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

1 month ago

attraction, behavior, drive, health, humor, just, people, perception, relationships, sex, sex drive, smoking, social, social behavior, vaping

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Trending via TikTok:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Going viral on Telegram:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Even wild things have slow mornings.

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

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I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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