28 funny item quotes - Wordgag

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

May 21, 2026

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

May 21, 2026

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

May 21, 2026

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

May 20, 2026

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

May 20, 2026

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

May 20, 2026

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

May 19, 2026

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

May 19, 2026

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

May 19, 2026

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

May 18, 2026

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

May 18, 2026

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Apr 1, 2026

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Apr 1, 2026

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Mar 31, 2026

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Mar 31, 2026

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Mar 31, 2026

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Mar 31, 2026

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Mar 30, 2026

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Mar 30, 2026

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Mar 29, 2026

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Mar 28, 2026

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Mar 27, 2026

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Mar 27, 2026

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Mar 26, 2026

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Mar 26, 2026

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Mar 25, 2026

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Mar 25, 2026

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Mar 25, 2026