Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,285

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Going viral on WeChat:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Going viral on Threads:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Going bananas on Slack:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Spotted on Facebook:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Breaking via YouTube:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Going viral on Reddit:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Gotta keep those "IDK" delts in peak condition! 🤷‍♂️💪😅

ask, exercise, fitness, humor, me, most, people, question, questions, sarcasm, shoulder, shoulder workout, shrug, workout

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

0

2 months ago

friendship, humor, i, listening, me, sarcasm, secret, trust
Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

0

2 months ago

20, appreciation, corporate, corporate job, email, humor, job, killer, money, salary, should, someone, tips, work, work humor, workplace, worst
You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

0

5 months ago

25, 30, 40, adult, age, am, ambition, before, financial, financial pressure, goal, humor, i, life, life goal, pressure, rich, right, stress, want, wealth, young, young adult
Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

0

2 months ago

advice, communication, humor, opening, people, scam, trust
There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

0

2 months ago

actual, finance, humor, irony, market, movie, stock, stock market, street, wall, wall street, wolf
Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

0

2 months ago

40s, age, challenge, diet, fitness, humor, laugh, lol, losing, weight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Reddit this month:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

87 shares on Threads this month:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Spotted on Facebook:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Going viral on Threads:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Just landed via Instagram:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Making waves on Snapchat:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Spotted on X:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨