Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,234

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Going viral on YouTube:

Time needs a speed limit.

Spotted on Facebook:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Making waves on Messenger:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Just shared via WeChat:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Going viral on Instagram:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Just landed via Discord:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Gotta keep those "IDK" delts in peak condition! 🤷‍♂️💪😅

ask, exercise, fitness, humor, me, most, people, question, questions, sarcasm, shoulder, shoulder workout, shrug, workout

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

0

2 months ago

accessory, back, fashion, humor, scarf, season, style, women
Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

0

2 months ago

door, humor, just, lock, safety, somebody, thinking
IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

0

2 months ago

analogy, california, furniture, hotel, Hotel California, humor, IKEA, shopping, store, stores
If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

0

2 months ago

airport, craziness, fly, humor, insanity, joke, own, people
I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

0

2 months ago

band, excited, excitement, fan, favorite, favorite band, humor, i, listen, live, music, noise, rain, seeing, someone, sound, white, white noise
Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

0

1 month ago

bad, blanket, comfort, cozy, happen, humor, just, nothing, protection, remember, safety, under, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on X this month:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

57 shares on Discord this month:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

40 shares on Discord this month:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

60 shares on Threads this month:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Just shared via TikTok:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Going viral on Discord:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Breaking via Facebook:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Trending via Facebook:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨