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New funny quotes: 281 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: May 18, 2026

 

 

 

 

17 Funny superpower quotes

Funny superpower quotes give a playful twist to the fantasy of having extraordinary abilities! 🦸‍♂️🤣 From imagining the hilarious side effects of your dream powers to laughing at the quirks of fictional heroes, these quotes are sure to spark a smile. Embrace the fun of superhuman imaginings and enjoy a good laugh with these funny superpower quotes! 😄💥

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Posted onMar 25, 2026

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Posted onMar 24, 2026

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Posted onMar 23, 2026

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Posted onMar 23, 2026

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Posted onMar 22, 2026

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