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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,312

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Going viral on X:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Live now on Reddit:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Live now on Twitch:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Just shared via TikTok:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Going viral on Facebook:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

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“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.
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Commentary:
This is the seasonal nap Olympics, and my productivity just won the gold medal in "Best Couch Potato" 🥇🛋️😴

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on X this month:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

17 shares on Discord this month:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

The shitshow must go on.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

58 shares on Facebook this month:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,334

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Spotted on Reddit:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Making waves on Instagram:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Just landed via Threads:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Live now on Slack:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Just landed via Threads:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Going viral on Reddit:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

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