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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Spotted on Slack:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Just landed via WeChat:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

7 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
This is the seasonal nap Olympics, and my productivity just won the gold medal in "Best Couch Potato" 🥇🛋️😴

2nd, after, attitude, blues, everyone, holiday, holiday season, January, January 2nd, job, Monday, office, office job, post-holiday, post-holiday blues, procrastination, season, Thanksgiving, work, work attitude

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

1 month ago
affleck, again, ben, Ben Affleck, broke, broke up, children, engaged, humor, Jennifer, Jennifer Lopez, life, lopez, love, love life, married, people, relationship, reunited, single, time, whole
Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

1 month ago
able, app, desire, feeling, heart, humor, inner, inner feeling, music, music app, Shazam, should, yearning
My brain is on airplane mode today.

1 month ago
airplane, airplane mode, brain, distraction, humor, laziness, mental, mental state, mode, state, today
Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

1 month ago
commuting, driver, driving, fault, front, frustration, guy, humor, impatience, jam, road, traffic, traffic jam
People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

1 month ago
before, breakfast, cook, cooking, going, humor, mature, maturity, me, morning, morning routine, people, routine, too, work
I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

1 month ago
challenge, create, humor, i, irony, math, new, paradox, problem, solve, three

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Just shared via X:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Making waves on Telegram:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Spotted on TikTok:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Just landed via Messenger:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

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“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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