Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem? Posted onApr 1, 2026
It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences. Posted onApr 1, 2026
I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more. Posted onApr 1, 2026
Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane. Posted onApr 1, 2026
The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions. Posted onApr 1, 2026
“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd. Posted onApr 1, 2026
It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life. Posted onMar 31, 2026