Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,785

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Just shared via Threads:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Just landed via Facebook:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Freshly posted on X:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Making waves on Messenger:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When Netflix is like your overenthusiastic friend who knows everything… except where to find the movie! 🎬🤔📚

disappointment, entertainment, finish, help, humor, looking, movie, name, Netflix, search, spelling, streaming, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

4 weeks ago

activity, collection, conduct, data, data collection, dating, experiment, fun, fun activity, humor, humor in dating, love, psychological, psychological experiment, research, working
I’m not old, I’m vintage.

1 month ago

age, humor, life, old, perspective, self-deprecation, vintage, wisdom
Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

4 weeks ago

advice, comments, humor, i, just, media, post, social, social media, therapist
Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

4 months ago

another, career, communication, humor, job, know, one-sided, pursuit, relationship, work
Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

4 weeks ago

back, coming, comparison, dysfunctional, dysfunctional family, family, humor, media, return, returning, social, social media, Twitter
If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

1 month ago

call, humor, joke, me, number, phone, privacy, respect

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Making waves on Facebook:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Going viral on Messenger:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Making waves on WeChat:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Making waves on Discord:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

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Activity Log ✨

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

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Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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