Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

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Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

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People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

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Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

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I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

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If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

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Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

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I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

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Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

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I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

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Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.