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Commentary:
"Who needs a dog that can high-five when you can have one that can fold laundry like a pro? 🐕👚 Let's revolutionize dog training one chore at a time! 💪🐾 #DomesticatedSuperheroes"

chores, dishwasher, dog, dogs, domestic, domestic chores, empty, fold, humor, laundry, never, over, people, pets, practical, practical skills, pretty, roll, sit, skills, train, training, tricks, useful

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

0

2 months ago

activity, couple, humor, husband, relationship, shop, work, workshop
I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

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2 months ago

day, humor, i, morning, relate, rooster, screaming, start, want
Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

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3 months ago

communication, excuse, eyesight, glasses, hearing, humor, i, misunderstanding, repeat, said, sorry
The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

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2 months ago

chemistry, electron, electrons, humor, joke, moron, neutron, neutrons, proton, protons, science, world
Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

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2 months ago

comfort, home, seat, seats, toilet, trust, where
If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

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2 months ago

communication, conversation, humor, listening, minutes, skills, social, social skills, someone, straight, talking, turn

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

23 shares on Slack this month:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

61 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

91 shares on WeChat this month:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

88 shares on TikTok this month:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Having a job ruined my life.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Shared recently on Discord:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Just landed via Slack:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Just landed via Facebook:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Going viral on X:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Just shared via X:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Just landed via Facebook:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Going viral on X:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨