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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Just shared via TikTok:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Spotted on Slack:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Just shared via X:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Going viral on Reddit:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

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No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my phone and I have a hot date with the couch tonight! 📱🛋️😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

15 shares on Twitch this month:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,658

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Just shared via Discord:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Just landed via Reddit:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Making waves on Instagram:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Breaking via Facebook:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Spotted on WeChat:

50 shades of single.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Just shared via TikTok:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

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