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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,262

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Spotted on Facebook:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Broadcasted on X:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Trending via WeChat:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my phone and I have a hot date with the couch tonight! 📱🛋️😂

else, excuse, humor, i, irony, life, phone, plans, procrastination, social, social life, somewhere, tonight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

0

2 months ago

attitude, butler, every, expression, humor, i, me, money, sarcasm, saying, someone, time, wealth, yours
Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

0

2 months ago

asleep, bathroom, fall, fall asleep, hate, having, humor, i, jealousy, me, night, rest, seconds, sleep
There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

0

2 months ago

behavior, dog, dogs, drug-sniffing, drug-sniffing dog, guide, guide dog, humor, life, pet, pet behavior, pets, poop, save
Being insane should at least burn calories.

0

2 months ago

being, burn, calory, exercise, health, humor, insane, least, mental, mental health, should
We decided to have money instead of children.

0

2 months ago

children, decision, humor, lifestyle, money, parenting, priorities
An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

0

2 months ago

bad, doing, evil, evil genius, evil idiot, genius, idiot, idiots, insulting, least, position, power, rising, seeing, sense

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

92 shares on Threads this month:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

42 shares on X this month:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

33 shares on X this month:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Seen just now on Slack:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Trending via Pinterest:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Making waves on Slack:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Seen just now on Messenger:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Trending via Messenger:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Being insane should at least burn calories.

We decided to have money instead of children.

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨