Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.
  • Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.
  • Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.
  • I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.
  • Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.
  • You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.