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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Just landed via YouTube:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Going bananas on Discord:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Just shared via Messenger:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Spotted on Telegram:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Spotted on Discord:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life lesson #101: Paying rent turns humor into horror 😂💸 Say goodbye to jokes and hello to bill collectors!"

adulthood, being, bills, change, expenses, humor, joke, life, life change, rent, responsibility, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

0

2 months ago

always, band, city, disappointment, feelings, hate, humor, music, personal, remember, tour
Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

0

2 months ago

advice, again, budgeting, finances, financial, financial advice, good, humor, i, mistake, money
Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

0

2 months ago

apparently, cow, empathy, hr, i, lack, stupid
The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

0

4 days ago

anything, attraction, feminine, feminine urge, flirtation, humor, relationship, tease, turn, urge
They should name a personality disorder after me.

0

2 months ago

after, disorder, me, name, personality, should
I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

0

2 months ago

fall, history, humor, i, irony, question, reflection, Rome, stupid, wonder

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

71 shares on X this month:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

89 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Going viral on X:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Making waves on Instagram:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Making waves on Pinterest:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Trending via Snapchat:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Going bananas on YouTube:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Going viral on TikTok:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Spotted on YouTube:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Trending via Threads:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

They should name a personality disorder after me.

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨