Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Going viral on WeChat:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Trending via Snapchat:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Just landed via X:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Trending via Twitch:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Making waves on Threads:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Level up achieved! 🏆 Next quest: The fridge invasion! 🚪🍕😄

back, coming, coming back, family, humor, move, once, parent, parents, relationship, time, today, war

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

2 months ago

booger, bored, boredom, cursor, distraction, humor, i, joke, meeting, nose, office, office joke, playful, prank, put, speaker, tech, tech humor, under, virtual, virtual humor, Zoom, Zoom meeting
God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

2 months ago

ark, biblical, creation, divine, Flood, God, humor, i, irony, joke, regret
Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

5 months ago

disappointment, expectation, forward, greeting, hi, humor, i, letting, much, sarcasm
Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

2 months ago

breadstick, comparison, dip, food, food humor, funny comparison, garden, humor, joke, oligarchy, olive, olive garden, restaurant, restaurant joke, something, sounds
I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

3 months ago

cat, fatter, humor, i, people, sentiment, wish
In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

1 month ago

era, humor, internet, just, media, retweet, social, social media, speechless

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Never eat more than you can lift.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

50 shares on Discord this month:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Going viral on Telegram:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Going viral on Slack:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Seen just now on TikTok:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Breaking via WeChat:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Spotted on Facebook:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨