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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Just landed via Pinterest:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Going viral on Facebook:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Just shared via Facebook:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Trending via Instagram:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you're living in Groundhog Day: The Home Edition! 😅⏳📺

again, age, boredom, day, doing, home, humor, just, much, over, people, repetition, routine, same, self-reflection

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

0

2 months ago

equivalent, forget, forgetting, home, humor, leaving, medieval, modern, phone, sword, technology, times
“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

0

2 months ago

always, gender, gender stereotype, God, humor, sarcasm, sleeping, stereotype, unconscious, wants, woman
When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

0

2 months ago

agree, big, deal, humble, humor, interaction, irony, modesty, no big deal, say, self-deprecation, social, social interaction, try
Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

0

2 months ago

boundary, business, humor, just, none, personal, privacy, sarcasm, secret, secrets, sometimes
Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

0

2 months ago

appetite, burger, date, food, frustration, fun, humor, release
A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

0

2 months ago

comparison, entertainment, humor, love, relationship, shark, TV

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on TikTok this month:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

86 shares on X this month:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

58 shares on Slack this month:

I am single, please disturb me!

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Freshly posted on X:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Spotted on YouTube:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Breaking via WeChat:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Seen just now on Threads:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Making waves on Slack:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨