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Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

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10,962

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Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Just shared via WeChat:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Seen just now on Threads:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Just shared via X:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Seen just now on Threads:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Going viral on Threads:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Live now on X:

The problem is I am always the problem.

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sweet potato fries fans, unite! We'll be over here not being taken seriously—and still being delicious. 🍠😂 #SeriousnessIsOverrated"

deserve, food, food humor, food preference, fry, humor, humor at food, opinion, people, potato, preference, ridicule, sarcasm, seriously, shame, sweet, sweet potato fry, taken

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Slack:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Seen just now on Discord:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Going viral on YouTube:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Just shared via Slack:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Making waves on Telegram:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Going viral on Messenger:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Just shared via Slack:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Trending via Pinterest:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

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People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

How is it still this week?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end and tomorrow to start.

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

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People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

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