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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,676

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Breaking via Facebook:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Trending via Threads:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Trending via Snapchat:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Spotted on Instagram:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sweet potato fries fans, unite! We'll be over here not being taken seriously—and still being delicious. 🍠😂 #SeriousnessIsOverrated"

deserve, food, food humor, food preference, fry, humor, humor at food, opinion, people, potato, preference, ridicule, sarcasm, seriously, shame, sweet, sweet potato fry, taken

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

0

2 months ago

chores, doing, humor, laundry, me, nobody, relatable, sad
All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

0

2 months ago

cooking, enough, food, gazpacho, humor, joke, lazy, soup
I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

0

2 months ago

door, expectation, hold, humor, i, just, lady, me, open, refrigerator, relationship, romance, someone, treat, want
When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

0

2 months ago

bus, bus pass, car, conflict, frustration, humor, key, pass, prank, relationship, revenge, want
I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

0

2 months ago

actually, again, conversation, encounter, humor, i, insight, love, never, perspective, random, random encounter, say, shit, stranger, strangers, talking
Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

0

2 months ago

after, authentication, codes, drama, existence, humor, impossible, mission, Mission Impossible, seconds, security, suburban, thank

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Reddit this month:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

41 shares on Threads this month:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Shared recently on Facebook:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Just shared via Telegram:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Trending via Threads:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Trending via Threads:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Trending via Discord:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Breaking via Facebook:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨