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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,974

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Going bananas on Discord:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Making waves on Telegram:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Making waves on YouTube:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Making waves on Instagram:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sweet potato fries fans, unite! We'll be over here not being taken seriously—and still being delicious. 🍠😂 #SeriousnessIsOverrated"

deserve, food, food humor, food preference, fry, humor, humor at food, opinion, people, potato, preference, ridicule, sarcasm, seriously, shame, sweet, sweet potato fry, taken

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

1 month ago
choices, consequences, drain, flow, humor, just, life, spiral
I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

1 month ago
capture, effort, family, feel, hours, humor, i, parenting, photographer, photography, smile, spend, teenager, trying, wildlife
Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

1 month ago
big, drank, drink, glass, health, humor, hydration, i, inform, just, regret, right, water
My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

1 month ago
angel, break, divine, divine intervention, guardian, guardian angel, history, humor, intervention, irony, longest, procrastination, smoking, smoking break, taking
Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

1 month ago
around, brain, going, growth, having, health, humor, insight, living, mental, mental health, personal, personal growth, self-discovery, someone, therapy, walk
For Halloween, I will be okay.

1 month ago
Halloween, holiday, humor, i, okay, reassurance

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Going viral on Discord:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Going viral on Instagram:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Trending via Slack:

Morning, me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Just shared via YouTube:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Going viral on Instagram:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

I think my type is a nice person.

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

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People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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