Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,367

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Just shared via Discord:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Spotted on Discord:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Making waves on Twitch:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Trending via Facebook:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew my grocery cart was a battlefield between science and scavenging 😂🥦🧪

eat, food, food industry, found, ground, health, humor, industry, just, nutrition, organic, processed, processed food, sarcasm, satire, somewhere

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

0

2 months ago

actually, education, humor, imagine, life, management, procrastination, spent, student, student life, study, studying, time, time management
Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

0

2 months ago

bed, eyes, humor, longing, miss, sad, sleep, tiredness, water, yawn
This book ain’t got no pictures.

0

2 months ago

book, got, humor, joke, pictures, reading, sarcasm
I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

0

2 months ago

attractive, bio, dating, DMs, humor, i, irony, media, pretend, put, self-esteem, social, social media
You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

0

2 months ago

arguments, communication, deception, different, gossip, humor, people, self, should, strategy, tell, things, yourself
I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

0

4 months ago

communication, humor, i, message, ok, paragraphs, recommend, recommendation, reply, saying, short, short reply, texting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Discord this month:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

100 shares on X this month:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

51 shares on X this month:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

18 shares on Slack this month:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Breaking via X:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Just landed via Facebook:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

This book ain’t got no pictures.

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨