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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Going viral on Telegram:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Making waves on Pinterest:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Just shared via WeChat:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's like offering a steak dinner to a hungry shark and expecting it to turn vegan 🦈🥩😂

bleeding, danger, emotion, emotions, feelings, metaphor, next, people, shark, showing, trust, vulnerability, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

0

3 weeks ago

better, calling, dating, girl, guy, hate, humor, insult, million, nice, nice guy, relationship, times
You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

0

5 months ago

advice, bed, comment, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, responsibility, world
You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

0

2 months ago

being, communication, engagement, humor, insult, media, much, social, social media, tried
The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

0

2 months ago

alone, chores, dishes, domestic, domestic life, humor, life, living, living alone, responsibility, trouble, turn
Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

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2 months ago

comedy, CVS, fairy, fairy tale, humor, let, Rapunzel, receipt, shopping, tale
I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

0

5 months ago

hoping, humor, i, interaction, media, poke, social, social media, something, stick, tweet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Threads this month:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

55 shares on Discord this month:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

99 shares on YouTube this month:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Live now on Threads:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨