Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Breaking via X:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Trending via YouTube:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Making waves on Telegram:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Live now on Facebook:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Just landed via Messenger:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Live now on Threads:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

3 weeks ago

Playful text highlighting online shopping faux pas and forgetfulness.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the joy of online shopping surprises! 🎁😅 It's like Amazon is reminding you, "Hey, time flies when you're hunting for the perfect gift!" ⏰🎉 Looks like you've just won the "Efficient Shopper of the Year" award! 🥇🎁🤣

Amazon, awkward, awkward moment, birthday, friend, friends, gift, hour, humor, item, moment, online, online shopping, procrastination, shopping, spend, time, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

78 shares on Threads this month:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

54 shares on X this month:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Spotted on Twitch:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Making waves on WeChat:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Shared recently on Discord:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Going viral on Discord:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴