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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,326

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Just landed via Instagram:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Spotted on Facebook:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Just landed via Twitch:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Shedding those extra opinions is the ultimate cardio! 🏃‍♂️💨😆

best, confidence, ever, humor, lose, loss, motivation, opinion, opinions, self, self-confidence, weight, weight loss, wisdom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beautiful chocolate, chocolate, food, hot, hot chocolate, humor, self-esteem, time
I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

0

2 months ago

character, even, humor, i, irony, love, narrative, perspective, someone, story, tell, version, villain
The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

0

3 months ago

age, child, children, digital, digital age, humor, i, internet, media, parenting, social, social media, technology, why
Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

0

2 months ago

before, brag, comfort, enough, financial, financial security, humor, i, irony, live, living, me, money, new, new year, planning, rest, security, week, year
“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

0

2 months ago

communication, flirt, girl, God, good, humor, irony, skills
The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, critique, date, everything, expectations, feedback, humor, i, nice, PDF, relationship, send, well, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

17 shares on X this month:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

88 shares on X this month:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

41 shares on Slack this month:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Just landed via X:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Breaking via Threads:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨