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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
  • It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.
  • Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.
  • If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.
  • They should invent a day where I don’t think.
  • Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.