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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,595

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Making waves on Messenger:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Breaking via WeChat:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Just shared via Twitch:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Trending via Messenger:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Trending via Messenger:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

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The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”
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Commentary:
Those fragrance commercial writers must be dreaming in 4D-Vision-Smell-O-Vision-Land 🌀✨ Can you imagine how fun it must be? "Yes, let's market this scent as a mix of unicorn tears and fresh-cut grass. It'll be fabulous!" 🦄🌿 Just another day at the office for them!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

59 shares on Discord this month:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Going viral on Discord:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Going viral on Facebook:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Just shared via YouTube:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Trending via Slack:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Trending via Slack:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Seen just now on X:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

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