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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,042

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Going bananas on YouTube:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Making waves on Messenger:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Shared recently on Instagram:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Spotted on TikTok:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
When leaving the house feels like a weekend job… 😂🏠🔋 #RestingProLevel

aging, being, comfort, doing, doing nothing, home, humor, i, laziness, love, much, nothing, older, realize, relaxation, self-awareness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

1 month ago
dark, dark humor, fade, forever, humor, inappropriate, inappropriate humor, looks, twisted, twisted humor
Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

1 month ago
activity, back, chores, Friday, fun, fun activity, garbage, go out, humor, i, right, weekend
Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

1 month ago
apparently, balls, frustration, humor, office, office humor, people, relief, stress, stress balls, stress relief, throwing, workplace
That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

1 month ago
all eyes, awkward, awkward moment, bride, eyes, family, groom, humor, moment, son, wedding
If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

1 month ago
growth, humor, i, mind, mistake, reflection, today, wisdom, yesterday
Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

1 month ago
bathroom, family, hobby, humor, left, life, management, only, parent, parent life, parenting, responsibility, time, time management, welcome

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Going bananas on Telegram:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Live now on X:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Just landed via Instagram:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Live now on Reddit:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My parents think they know me.

Just shared via WeChat:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

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Activity Log ✨

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Manifesting you in my bed.

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

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The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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