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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

11 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Reported on Telegram:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Just landed via Slack:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Going viral on Reddit:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

3 months ago

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

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Commentary:
Oh, birthdays and one night stands – fleeting but memorable moments that we sometimes prefer to forget! 🎉🙈 Growing older can sometimes feel like playing a game where you hit the "ignore" button every time your birthday pops up. 🎂😜 After all, denial is a form of anti-aging, right? Here's to celebrating birthdays the way you want, or not celebrating them at all! 🎈🥳 #ForeverYoungInSpirit

age, birthday, celebration, denial, fun, getting, getting older, happen, humor, i, just, life, night, older, one-night stand, pretend, stand, treat

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

11 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Breaking via YouTube:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Live now on Twitch:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Just shared via WeChat:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Spreading quickly via X:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Trending via Snapchat:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

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