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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,030

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Seen just now on Discord:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Making waves on Slack:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Spreading quickly via X:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Seen just now on X:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Making waves on Reddit:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
I attempted a cartwheel and invented a new yoga pose: flailing flamingo 🦩🤣

activity, attempt, cartwheel, crazy, day, exercise, fitness, got, humor, i, idea, nostalgia, physical, physical activity, self-deprecating, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

1 month ago
bitchy, bloated, dwarf, forgetful, health, humor, itchy, menopause, psycho, sleepy, snow, Snow White, sweaty, white, women’s, women’s health
It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

3 months ago
being, being listened, feel, feeling, girl, i, listened, little, little girl, me, talking, trigger
My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

1 month ago
apnea, diagnosis, health, humor, irony, meeting, sleep, sleep apnea, staff, staff meeting, workplace
I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

1 month ago
grammar, humor, i, irony, language, linguistics, live, moose, plural, want, where, wordplay, world
I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

1 month ago
better, bumper, bumper sticker, confidence, driving, feel, got, green, green light, honk, humor, i, just, light, lights, myself, pretty, self-esteem, sit, sometimes, sticker, think
If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

1 month ago
blink, call, cosmic, earthling, humor, i, relationship, romance, science, star, twinkle, wink

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Going viral on X:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Just landed via Discord:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Shared recently on Slack:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

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Activity Log ✨

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

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The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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