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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,337

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Making waves on Snapchat:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Going viral on X:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Going viral on X:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Shared recently on YouTube:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Trending via TikTok:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Going viral on Discord:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

2 months ago

0

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, Walmart – the great divider of mankind! 🛒 For some, it's a chore-filled expedition, a journey into the depths of consumerism. For others, it's a thrilling adventure, a chance to embrace the chaos and find hidden gems among the shelves. Which type are you? Embrace the Walmart experience, for it is a true test of character! 💸🎉

activity, choices, experience, fun, fun activity, humor, life, life choices, people, perspective, retail, retail experience, shopping, types, types of people, Walmart, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Double chins are better than double faces.

0

2 months ago

better, body, body positivity, chin, double, double chin, double face, face, faces, humor, positivity, self-image
My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

0

2 months ago

am, group, health, here, humor, i, mental, mental health, self-help, should, support, take, talk, therapist, therapy
Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

0

2 months ago

end, entertainment, expectation, frustration, getting, humor, mad, mystery, show, solve, suspense, TV, TV Show, unsolved, Unsolved Mystery, watching
Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

0

2 months ago

Batman, being, die, friends, hard, humor, interaction, introvert, just, me, recharging, social, social interaction, suspense
Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

0

2 months ago

being, calm, calm down, fame, famous, humor, media, Monopoly, real, reality, rich, social, social media
Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

0

1 month ago

being, day, humor, Monday, record, week, worst, worst day

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

48 shares on Discord this month:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

21 shares on X this month:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,565

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Going bananas on TikTok:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Making waves on Twitch:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Just landed via X:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Spreading quickly via X:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

Live now on Pinterest:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Breaking via YouTube:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

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