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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,279

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Breaking via YouTube:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Spotted on Slack:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Making waves on Facebook:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Broadcasted on Slack:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Trending via Discord:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Going viral on WeChat:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

3 weeks ago

Humorous text highlighting the relatable divide between Walmart shoppers and enthusiasts.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, Walmart – the great divider of mankind! 🛒 For some, it's a chore-filled expedition, a journey into the depths of consumerism. For others, it's a thrilling adventure, a chance to embrace the chaos and find hidden gems among the shelves. Which type are you? Embrace the Walmart experience, for it is a true test of character! 💸🎉

activity, choices, experience, fun, fun activity, humor, life, life choices, people, perspective, retail, retail experience, shopping, types, types of people, Walmart, world

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

72 shares on X this month:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

93 shares on Threads this month:

What is it called when you were overthinking, and it turns out you were right?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,283

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Doc, if I can vibecode anything and everyone else can vibecode anything, then what’s my competitive advantage?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Going viral on Twitch:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Just shared via Messenger:

January is the Monday of the year.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Just shared via Instagram:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

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